Leeland - Way Maker (Official Live Video)

Scummy Grammer[sic bitch] Manifesto

Hi I am a 31 year transgender failed writer from Chicago who thought I knew it all when I was 25. My friends call me bushka but you can call me MC Grammar. I used to pour scorn on those that chose to work in the "real world". Little did  I know the realities of life. I am now a lowly clerk in a badly paid job and I have absolutely no chance of ever purchasing any asset of value. I live in a delusion that one day my writings will get published and actually make some money. I am unable to accept my talent is simply not up to scratch compared to the competition out there. I Twitter and Facebook that I am a "freelance writer" but the reality is I write for free for digital magazines that no one has heard of. When you type my name into Google or writer based sites you get

"Nothing Found Sorry, but nothing matched your search criteria" 

At the time of writing I had 13 twitter followers and 0 retweets and I am shit, a nothing, a little girl. I have a crap blog that nobody follows and compared to my peers,  my writing quality and output can only be described as "pre pubescent". My whole social media presence can be described as a "Non sequitur" - nobody follows me.

Welcome to the Daily Grind

My relationships go absolutely nowhere. They rot, fester, and grow mould.  I cannot hold onto any boys that come my way -  not that many do. Apart from my plain-jane-trailer-trash-look, my selfishness  and self inflated ego is a big factor in this. I just cannot give in a relationship it is all take baby.  I ridiculously attempted to two-time once and lost them both. Don't think I don't know my dirty little secret - it is why I used to blush a disgusting pasty red when I would see one of them - messed about got caught out Howzat!



Quiz Darlings: "DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TERMS GULLIBLE,  DECEIT,  AND TRUST?"

Glub Glub Vomit

On the rare accident that I finally do get laid,  which will most probably be due to the boy/girl/beat up trannie /anyone? being extremely drunk, of ill sight or spectacularly bogan ugly, I advertise it to the world like the cheap trash that I am - hey it may not happen again. I can't remember having sex in the last 5 years as I have been rat-arsed every one of the two times although I hazily recall the poor guy having a striking resemblance to this guy (but not as hot). The other time I humiliatingly had to pay a male tramp for a shag. This was going well until he vomited on me and left without finishing the job - bastard. I am a  that kind of girl. - Yo ya know I'm a ho-slag-slut-slapper unable to get laid. I can say that cause I'm rapp'n and it's cool cause I'm 'soooo underground' - vomiting yet? I hope so  you fucking cunt-arse dickhead. Remember word sluts McGrammar loves you.

Push the Little Daisies

Why is my love life akin to a brothel for lepers that have 20 bucks between them? I have been told this is due to my inability to empathise on an interpersonal level. The truth is I cannot empathise on any level. Of course, I am too self-deluded to believe this and my massive overinflated ego simply goes into my auto-pilot fake mode.  I am happy to say I fake it by appearing to care about global and social issues but my personal reality is a complete opposite. I engage in "underground" movements not for any altruistic reasons - I just can't get a gig anywhere else - simple as that.

Is it said there is something deeply pathetic about an individual who has a public "hey look at me I'm saving the world or environment " persona,  yet privately does not give a fuck about anyone but themselves and you guessed it again dear reader....[pause for effect] er I mean I lose again as this is pathetic old me. God I am a fraud, a jellyfish, I have no spine. I have no substance. I am worthless but I do not care - it is all about me and sometimes I actually believe I am a God.

And now for the defining element of my "personality"- my compulsive lying. I am aware of this but my fucked up dysfunctional "personality" (and I use the term loosely)  is not up to the task of addressing it. This blog is my only truthful outlet. I make up stories about how bad my ex-relationships were and demonise them to compensate for my own mental issues and failings. I was a little fish swimming out of my depth and God now look at me.

Proud as Punch
You can't tell I've had work done.

I have been seeing a therapist for years but I am a lost cause as fundamentally I am a bad person. I make up fantasies about persecution and assault just to make my boring loveless existence more interesting to others. It works for a short time but then my true nature starts to rear its ugly head and I place yet another person on my shit heap of failed relationships - sense a pattern here? Boom. Here help yourself to "Pseudologia fantastica"

I cannot rectify my lies as I am in too deep and have fabricated stories to my friends (the fleeting revolving door of my friendships) for years. I don't know where to start  and correct it...how could I do this to my ex who was such an absolute all round great guy?...what a man and let's face it he was a sex god and knew how make a chick scream with cream (love you danny poppett) oh wait that's right I have no empathy and I cannot be trusted. I can never look them in the eye again but then I remember, I simply don't give a fuck about anyone but myself. That's better.

Me Looking into Mirror

I hide my physical appearance on the net and why I hear you disinterestingly ask? Besides the fact that I am as ugly as a hat full of arseholes there are two reasons. Reason 1 - I am as guilty as a pig sow in shit and I am ashamed (for all of 5 mins) of how I have manipulated and lied for the most part of my pitiful life and Reason 2 - I have aged 20 years in the past 5.  And wait listen to this.I claim to be a fuckin "feminist" yet hilariously have had  several disastrous cosmetic surgical procedures that have left my face hideously unnatural, asymmetrical and just plain weird looking. I am such a giant cow and a wonkey one at that. wonkey donkey, wonkey donkey

I have had so much botox it is seeping out my cellulite ridden monster of an ass. I am 30 but look closer to mid to late forties and have two empty chaff bags under my eyes that gives me an air of grotesque. I suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome every morning after looking in the mirror. On top of all these endearing traits, I often get mistaken for an older fat bloke, which I get offended by as I am girl - a fat chick. Why can't they see I'm just a fat chick sob sob... I'm not a bloke... sob sob.  My shameful life is so fucking wrong , I am just a year or two off becoming a barren, bitter, and broke demented dog lady - we all know the type and my life is all over it.

Most tragically, I am devoid of gender. I have none.  "I should have been born a boy! Nobody has ever loved me... boo hoo sob sob sniffle"...OOPS! Cry me a river girl...no really yes. This utterly sad and pathetic state of gender-identity purgatory explains my repulsiveness to both sexes - even the beat up old trannies recoil in confused horror. My gender is only really given away when I open my mouth and my chipmonkish squeaky little girl voice corrupts the airwaves.

Yabby Tits

I am so desperate I have been checking out the drunk homeless hobos for a date. I have been knocked back a few times but I have my eye on a hot little hobo with black matted hair. Although I cannot see his face due to scabs and facial scrub and even though he smells like a pub pisser during a heatwave, this loser is truly the life for me.

Did I also mention I am a crap "writer"? I work doing menial jobs as I cannot make any money from my "writing". I am earning the same amount of money I did 5 years ago; which is next to nothing. I tried prostitution once but the brothel kicked me out as I was making the customers ill. I look at people in other jobs such as IT and Finance and my pudgy seeping eyes go green with envy. My career is a complete and utter utter utter failure. I am destined to remain trailer trash and a sad lonely spinster.  My wardrobe already consists of black throw-overs and I can feel my hunch back starting to develop. Oh well never mind, there is nothing of any interest to read here and this pretty much sums up my joke of a writing career. My writing has the half-life of a grocery list. I just have to accept I am a failure...yes a FAILED WRITER.

I'm her flower, she's my butterfly

"Triumphantly Celibate!"

Bitch Alert...Listen to this. True story, protesting at my inability to get ANY action I once triumphantly declared I was going to be celibate. It went something like this:

Mc Celibate: Right I will show you all. All you bastards giving me no attention I'm turning Celibate!... 
[night sounds of crickets, no-one in sight]


I mean it....I really really do....Celibate.  I’m not joking guys
 [tumble weeds and old newspapers blow down the street]


Zine News Flash: "Mc goes Celibate. Chicago sex scene will never be the same again" - I'll say that again 


Reporter: Can you tell the readers about your stunningly disinteresting proclamation about your celibacy?


Mc Celibate:  “Well I'm afraid yes… I'll never have sex again!"
[Public hysteria, elation, Crackers, Balloons, Mass Celebrations around the world]


Newsflash: In the aftermath of breaking news Sun News reports "Chicago Hobos and Chad Morgan impersonators breathe a collective sigh of relief" ...meanwhile reports roll in Chad Morgan just wants to "get on with his life" after his traumatic experience in the presence of a naked Mc Grammar

God what is wrong with me? Why do I lie so much? Why is my social mask in complete opposite to how I am inside? I am a hollow (albeit rather obese) entity and I am your bitch and I am of shit. Just remember dear reader you are not responsible for my fucked up life as I am not yours.

I hate myself and want to die

Hating ourselves and wanting to die? Hey why not make it a double act! Since you often liked being on your hands and knees, why don't you just crawl into a corner and get on with it. Don't make a mess and please don't let me hold you up. I'm sure the world will cope quite well with your absence. Give or take a few minutes, the stain of your existence will be forgotten and your living memory shall fade into oblivion as all meaningless lives do. Love Love Love. Speaking of short failed relationships based on spite - your shallow and ridiculous little "two fat chicks" relationship. Wow that really lasted girls - HA! Fucking losers. You probably both hate each other now. Of this I have no doubt, and this was the inevitable direction it had to follow; a "Non Non Sequitur" - BOOM.  You know what you should do? Fuckin set yourself on fire, girls. Prove a point. That’s what that Buddhist dude did in Vietnam and, like, the next day? War’s over...Really? Hey, would an American lie to you?

You were not Unicorns

We have come to the end of our little journey and lessons on what it feels like to read horrible and insensitive lies in a blog. To make it sound even more confusingly self-reflective, I will speak in the 1st and 2nd-person at the same time! Essentially "You" am "I"  and "I" am "You" -  So when you are reading think "I ,oh! You" Get it?

Everything as prior mentioned is untrue - at least I admit my wrongs (lesson 1). Also I do not post this or involve my "friends" (lesson 2) - I keep the humiliation personal. Do you realize you have affected your friends negatively by getting them to be compliant in your treachery? You poisoned them with hate.

It's time now for a little self-reflection and molely-naval gazing (lesson 3).

Reminds me of you poppet you little porker.
I miss your little dimples in your bum and the
 way it rolled when I smacked it
 when giving you the old meat & veg

So was it worth it? Was it worth all the lies? Was it worth all the humiliation. How does one justify all the hurt that one causes? Here is a secret you should know; you do not have a clue about social justice. How could you with all the personal demons you wrestle with and the way you treat people? People that did nothing to deserve such humiliation - you just do not understand how things affect people.  You post incredibly hurtful things on the Internet and publicise to all and sundry - oh the irony. Ironical isn't it hey, hang on maybe you do understand and is why your posts are so evil. Ironical isn't it. Just don't think too hard as you will end up all twisted and bitter. Do you see me posting the kind of resentement riddled crap on line that you post? Exactly.

Public humiliation of the type you employ is the realm of little school girl bullying not the work of a graduate writer - at what point did you and your sidekick  "face-on-the-side-of-her-mole" chick turn into Miss Nasty, Manipulative, and Heartless Bitch? And why bring Shadow into it. You have to wreck eveything. Nobody likes you, you fat chocolate addicted loser. Jerk.

And what did I ever do to warrant such? I never lied to you (remember how I never lied. of course you don't you lie) but it appears you never told the truth to me - and looks missy may can be soooo deceiving. What does that leave you with? You categorise yourself as a writer? I have some more breaking headlines for you - your a writer of the worstest kind. One that writes about personal and social change yet does not have the courage of backbone to enact it - hypocritical, pitiful, and shameful; full on fucked really and makes the jumble of words you call writing pointless and useless. A "legacy" on how not to write.  You call yourself MC Grammar. Imagine someone introducing you  "This is MC Grammar, a writer, err... too embarrassing"

At what point did the lies start and did you think it would ever impact anyone? What slander did you tell all your friends about me that made them also lie? You simply do not care if you fuck up someone's life and you fail to even take what you did seriously. I bet you won't even take this blog seriously. But no you're too smart for that aren't you -smug fool.

Now I can just hear you carrying on how you are not responsible for my life and these are my life choices yadda, yadda , yaa.  However you are responsible for all the deceit, the accompanying social isolation and the impact it had psychologically. You fail to even acknowledge this.

Don't you love my graphical re-enforcement of an
idea or concept.

You can write you may well have wanted the "opposite of this" or some fools "best jokes" but the truth is always shown in behaviour - you did nothing to correct it despite your written assertions - it means nothing and they are hollow words until you back up what you say with action.

The ONLY reason you expressed regret publicly for your actions was for you and you only. You cared only about your fucking image and how people perceived you and this was the primary motivation - PATHETIC

"Hello Action" - do you know what that means? It astounds me you cannot see this but I am beginning to realise why you chose writing. It is simply is a means for you to hide a lack of substance and conviction of character. Using writing you can conveniently label your scratchings as post-modern bullshit. Here help yourself to a recipe of how you write.


"Throw in the façade of an outdated oppressive movement such as feminism, manufacture some outrage, highlight how "educated" you are by having self-congratulatory vague references to writing theory plus past classics, and polish it off with a bit of naive activism. There you have your complete social mask  - you an't fooling anyone girl".

"Self-Delusionally Hypocritical"

You chest-beat (watch your sensitive little titties) and make contrived fucking outrage! against crimes of the environment and lament the lack of humanity in society as you see fit. Yet, yet, yet your personal behaviour and cruelty on a person to person level has no congruence with your public persona. Champion of the oppressed and give those without a voice a stage then become the oppressor in private - what's all that about? I will tell you. It is so hypocritical  I believe you are completely self-delusional.

  

"In public, Viva la Revolution! In private silence the fuckers
and take their voice away. How can you stand living a lie?"

Act like you don't know me.

I do not need to say any of this - you fucking know it yet are unwilling to make any effort to correct it.When it comes down to it - I would hate to be you and it must be a terrible burden. You have not the character to face your wrongs and so they will stay with you and you will have to fucking live with it - so enjoy hating away. But no don't enjoy hating cause I wouldn't want you to have fun now would I? Don't bother answering. As you get older one hopes you will learn that life is far too short to be a hater and you will also learn the hate you project in your blogs, on youtube (glub, glub) will affect you sooner or later.

Ask yourself are you really happy being who you are? Of course you aren't - still miserable, you live the life of a fucking hermit and you literally are becoming a crazy old dog lady. There is a reason why you are single and so unhappy. Ironic isn't it. I thought you were smart enough to realise the correlation between behaviour and emotional well-being however it appears you are not and this is another mistake I made with you; I overrated your intelligence. This is not to say you are intelligent either so let's just make this a little bit clearer and confirm what I meant. If this writing bothers you then all I can say is "good". My kinda genre - you have no idea why this means do you - no fucking idea. Well think about it, and then have a long hard look in the mirror at the genre you participate it - clearly you have no fucking idea. Ironic isn't it.

Cerealiously Special,
Very Fucking Special

Not being funny, and don't take this the wrong way, I feel terribly bad for saying this, but you may be slightly mentally retarded. Have you ever been assessed? This would definitely explain some of your bizarre behaviour and child like writings.  Posting a video of cardboard cut-out characters and little stick figures.... please, maybe in year 4 but a post-grad? Non sequitur? What the fuck? Your crappy unpopular blog - really. If anything you should rename it  "Non sequitur" as nobody follows it. It's shit shit shit. How many members have you got 10 people? Have a look how many of your writing peers have blogs far more popular and interesting than your shite! As for your mental state, do yourself a favour and get checked out - for everyone's sake. I have some phone numbers if you like I can provide you with them. You help yourself matey. oooohh  I can just feel the blood boil...I hate being called matey.

What's a matter?
 Don't ya find this funny?

Returning to your transgressions (they always return Babe) I have had to find out everything myself as you do not have the character to front up to it. The horrible online posts, the lies and deceit , the set up, the alienation and and the horror of understanding the person you truly are - I believe you need help as normal functioning human being would not behave like you did. Ironic isn't it. Aside from giving someone The Clap, have you ever made a positive difference to anyone? Because all I see is a trail of destroyed relationships and honey bun there is one fucking constant in all this emotional carnage - YOU

Does this all sound absurd BOOM. Your fucking shite video. I hope you find it absurd now that you didn't know as much about life as you thought your stupid little high brow attempts at theatre were...where have all the humans gone? The only thing remotely funny about your piss poor post was that it made me out to be naive when in fact it was the complete opposite. You were sexually immature. This was very apparent - I should know. No hang on I shouldn't know. Yes,  I would never capitulate my soul like you did - you sold it in the name of spite and look at you now - barren, bitter, and broke.

MC Grammar, what IS the deal with you? I can hear you ask this question. You want to know how I got like this, right?  Yes why do you carry so much emotional trash from so long ago and continue to publish and ridicule. The answer is simple - you keep writing, we keep writing. You remove your writing, this is another story MC Yabby Tits.

Anyways grammar loving readers I've wasted far too much energy on this so am signing off. Just remember MC Grammar loves you.


...oh yeah, before I completely forget your existence; I wish I had never met you.

 - THE END 

P.S. So the truth about me has finally been told, the kid paid and I feel so...so very lonely and cold

P.S.S I hope dear reader you like the site design. I was going to choose a black background but as anyone can tell you a blog with a black background immediately screams creepy amateur porn site, so I went with the current colour.

P.S.S.St If you take this piss-take on hate seriously you are more gullible than me. "It was just a bit of fun" Love MC Grams



Naa na na na na na.na naa

"...You little thief
You little savage
You little beauty 
You little whore
..You little dream
You little nightmare
You little nothing
You little girl"

...Listen to this honey

Mc Grammar Reviewed by FatCow on May 24. Its Grammar Time Grammar tips and writing Rating: 5